Friday, August 8, 2014

Product Review : The Bearded Bastard


Are you one of those men who absolutely love telling the expensive razor companies where to stick it with their ridiculously priced products? I told them to piss up a rope last year after shaving since I was 13 and haven't looked back since. That qualifies me as "one of those men". Hair is the body's most manipulated feature because we are able to cut, shape, style, and reshape it a hundred different ways. A particular hair style becomes a man's pride and joy, and it plays a big role in his "looks". The style of a man's beard translates directly into his lifestyle beliefs and behavior. Take for example, the distinguishing styles of infamous men, heroes, and kings. Zeus, Lincoln, Henry the VIII, Confucius, Uncle Jesse, Robert E Lee, and Jim Morrison all had their marks on the beard game of life. Over our short human history, facial hair has been sort of an adaptive signal of sexual maturity and the presence of testosterone, which gives us Men our reproductive power of attraction to the Women. Today, the attraction power of facial hair seems to have just drifted a little more into a matter of taste rather than a conscious mate selection from the days of our past. I'm fine with that idea. Why not dial your beard game in and look nice? What could possibly be wrong with showing folks that you aren't a corporate slave that bows to it's slick-faced overlords and that you will not compromise on your manhood? You owe it to yourself to let those strands of badassery loose! Freedom baby... Freedom indeed.

Do you take pride in styling your facial hair just because it feels like magnificent strands of Kevlar and you're able to? I've never really been one to go all out Dapper Dan with the styling of my facial hair prowess. I wasn't exactly searching for the holy grail of facial hair or anything, but one day not too long ago I stumbled across The Bearded Bastard. The guy who started it, Jeremiah Newton, has his game laced up tight. He has created one of the most finely crafted lines of beard products on the face of the planet, all handmade in his Austin Texas studio. I was interested, so I ordered his sample pack. It came in about 3 days on USPS from Austin. In this sampler pack you will find an assortment of some of his hardest hitting Beard Oils. Woodsman, Morocco, Opium Den, R.E. Byrd, and Simply Vanilla are the beard oils that you will be delightfully introduced to. Don't be shy when you open the bottles for the first time and breathe in these amazing scents. Breathe deep. Embrace it. You will be instantly drawn in deep by your imagination to places that you've never been and those scents will accompany you to their intended destination. You'll have to read his descriptions for each oil yourself, as I cannot possibly lay it out for your as good as he does. Your journey will begin there. His latest Beard Oil, Barber Shop, is now all ready to go. That will be my next purchase from Mr. Newton.

In my honest opinion, Mr. Newton has done his homework, and has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide us bearded bastardly Men a fine line of products that can be worn with pride and confidence. There are many other products to be had at his website. Mustache waxes, combs, shave oil and kits, T-shirts, stickers, shop rags, are all there. Go see his site for yourself, you won't regret it. And just so we're all crystal on something, I had no idea he even existed when I created this blog named The Bearded Backyarder. Great minds right? I started advertising his site on my sidebar strictly because I believe in his products and use them daily. I do not get anything in return for the promotion of his brand, only the solid comfort and assurance of knowing that I'm buying quality products from someone who has their craft down to an art.

Tell him that The Bearded Backyarder sent you!

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