Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Bearded Backyarder's Swine IED

I've been known roll a little smoke off the pit a time or two in the Backyard as we drink wine, throw washers, and blast the speakers with good ole' American Rock n' Roll.

I'll share this with you on these three conditions: You actually cook it,  knock your friends dick's in the dirt with it, and report back to me your findings of amazement and wonder. I mean I want you to whip this thing out at your next get together and crush all dreams that any of your attendees have at keeping up with your bad-assery on the pit. This one will elevate your status.

Some people call them pork bombs, bacon explosion, and blah blah freakin' blah... I stepped it up a notch and called my version the Swine IED because that's what it is!

It's an Improvised Explosive Device of FLAVOR because I use it as unconventional tactic to backyard BBQ Warfare greatness. Once it hits your taste buds you will experience a feeling of flavor explosion on your palate. Try to contain yourself.

Being the very basic kind of dude I am, I have it down to only 5 ingredients for it to come off the pit ready to beat the brakes off anything your friends are doing right now.

First start out with a 1.5lb-2lb pack of thick slab cut bacon and weave it like so... Keep that weave tight because you will be adding other ingredients that will leak out later.

Next, apply a layer of BBQ seasoning and lay on your first layer of meat. This meat can be anything like chicken, fajita steak cuts, deer, or whatever else you may be into meat wise. You want it to be thin and pounded out for sure. For this example I have used a Deer Tenderloin that was pounded out.

Add another layer of BBQ seasoning. You want those layers of seasoning put on every layer so it's seasoned all the way through the thing.

I am missing a few pictures due to unknown circumstances. So, I apologize and you'll just have to work with me here as I describe the rest of the assembly process.

After I add my meat I add a layer of thin sliced Jalapeno Pepper Jack cheese on top of it. Enough cheese to cover the meat entirely. The cheese is a critical part of the flavor equation so get it right. Then season again on that. (Smoked Pepper Jack cheese is goodness from the Gods I tell ya! You'll see what I mean when it's said and done...)

Now comes the fun part. I'm not sure if many of you folks outside of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Bama', and Florida  have ever eaten Boudin (also spelled boudain) or not. Boudin is pork, liver, rice, and a host of other aromatics and spices all shot into a sausage casing that is amazing.

I use rice dressing because it comes in block form making it easier to cut in 1/2" rectangles which go on top of the cheese layer. This is the same thing as boudin, except it's not in the casing. Also great with beer and crackers!

Once I add in the rice dressing it's time for another round of BBQ seasoning. Now that we've gotten all this stuff piled up, it's time to roll it up and smoke it. Don't act like none of you have never rolled anything up... I see where some of your IP's are from... :)

Getting it in form to roll is important here. Make sure your ends are tucked in as you roll it as to not lose any cheese, rice dressing, seasoning, or meat as it shrinks on the pit. Use whatever bacon you have leftover to cover any of the holes you may have and use toothpicks to hold in place if it won't stick naturally. Just remember to pull those things out when you go to eat or it may merit you an ass whoopin'. Just sayin'...

Once you've rolled her up nice and tight, you guessed it, season that bitch again...

I use a Brinkman Electric Gourmet smoker. Indirect heat is the way to go. This is my 4th one as I've burned the guts out of others because I used them heavily. It's incredibly easy. It stays a constant 220f due to the electric element in the bottom. When you add in your wood chips, chunks, or blocks you will see a temp increase due to the coal factor of burning wood. I use red oak, hickory, and pecan. Mesquite comes off too salty for my tastes. I fill my water bowl with hot water as to not delay the evaporation process of the water into the meat. That's the trick to it coming out glistening with juices rather than all dried up and looking like jerky.

I let them go on there 2-3 hours depending on what meat I'm cooking in the core of it. The highest temps I see are usually about 275f-300f.


Keep the lid on as much as possible. Chicken needs to go to up to a minimum of 165f before it's done. Beef can be eaten at a minimum of 125f-130f and be fine. I go to the medium range of 135f-140f. The deer meat is lean and has no fat content hardly so it doesn't need to cook as long. 

When they are ready to come off, you'll see something like this...

I normally let them cool down a bit so I can handle them and slice them. If you did it right, you'll see a cinnamon roll style of cheese, rice, meat, and heart attack right there in the middle of it. I'm warning you now, this thing is rich in flavor and it almost seems like you are eating desert. Tasty, Smoky, Cheesy, Ricey, Meaty, and just absolutely delicious. These go well sliced on a plate with baked beans, tater salad, and deviled eggs. You can also eat it on toasted hamburger bun and it's not bad.

If you really want to get your freak on, I suggest drizzling it with Steen's Cane Syrup. Some of y'all ain't ready for that yet, but it's incredibly good. The sugar goes with the salt of the bacon well. When I make armadillo eggs with deer, jalapeno, and cheese, they all get the Steen's drizzle. I'm a firm believer in their product.

Now get to it and enjoy !! 

You're welcome...


milo said...


You sir, are a sadist.
Good job.

Critter said...

*right click, save*

North Texan said...

I've got most of the stuff together for this. Gonna try thi weekend. Ill try to snap some pics of the adtermath and send to you.

Stackz O Magz said...

Still waiting man. What's the status Gladys?